my head has become too hostile for my own wellbeing. 
i find nothing but lost emotions that scrape the thoughts that try to pass by, memories that buoy to the surface every now and then. 

between sleepless thoughts, dry eyes and sore body, i seek for anything that resembles comfort. i’ve tried with music, videos, content.  nothing phases me.  it feels like i’m stuck in this numb loop. my image melts in the mirror, distorted by dysmorphia and tinted by my lack of rest.  surely tomorrow will be better.
  surely there will be better times. \

 … please let them arrive sooner. nothing feels right, nothing feels wrong. nothing feels comfortable yet i can’t point out anything that bothers me.
it feels like i’m treading a path that i can’t even see and i want this to be over. but i don’t even know what i want to be over.

please free me from this torment or kill me.  i want to stop suffering. 

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