no. . . amount of words can scratch the surface on how we feel. on how stupidly tired, exhausted and missing we feel. on how pained and numb everything seems.
no amount of isolation can provide a pain or coldness that will ease the bleeding wounds that cross our head and core– pains that somehow still escape our control.
no friend, partner, playlist, stimulus, cup of coffee, tea or drink can take away the crushing overwhelm that drags us like colossal chains.
it is to much.
it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
…
and we just keep pushing.
because, “you’ll make it through this”.
yes, BUT AT WHAT COST???????
how much more suffering, caffeine, drugs, isolation, pain, stress, anxiety, numbing, disassociation–
what more do we have to fucking endure to “make it through this” ?
because everyone is always “there for [us]” but noone understands or fucking cares– noone wants to see the spiraling, hurting and anxious times where we WISH and CRY that someone. that A N Y O NE.
could provide help.
but no.
it won’t happen.
because we’re just pushing and shouldering the pain. and moving forward. as everything and everyone stays blind to us.
becuase the world still spun before we were born and it will still do after we die.
and nothing will fucking matter.
and all the pain will just become dust in the wind.
and all the text and writing and agony that is exposed in these shitty texts will just vanish and forever disappear once my server goes offline or we decide to nuke it.
i hate this all. and i want to stop hurting, all we ever feel is pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and pain and misery and