CW: exhausted, everything hurts, ment. of sui
~/texts/please help?$ cat index.md

i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know, i dont know,

it hurts and i dont know how to unmask anymore because nothing feels real but nothing feels off. my feelings are jumping every couple of hours from ideating ways to hurt and escape and stop existing to having plans on how to rebuild my entire life and fix all that is wrong.

it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts,

i cant feel real or grounded but i also cant escape. the thoughts and feels and the pain and the suffering, it’s all stuck and corroding me inside out.

and there is no escape or use or reason, there is nothing and noone.

there is only pain and headaches and drowsiness and extreme swings

there are only questions and uncertainty and misery and coldness and isolation

nothing feels right, nothing feels good, nothing feels real, nothing feels worth it, nothing feels–

i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off, i want off,

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