im tired of everything  –
i dont want to make plans i dont care about my or next month i dont fucking care if the car breaks down because i made the wrong choice, i dont want to fucking have to make plans myself for everything, i dont want i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont care i dont care. 

‣… i care too much, don’t i?   

i dont know.  im tired, im hurting im numb, i’m exhausted, i’m manic, i’m stupid and i’m too smart to fix, i am but i’m not, i exist but missing my head is busy but still working, i’m tired but still moving, i’m resting but not well-rested   i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist‣ i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist i exist