following a conversation that spun up from mentioning that i was reading Flowers For Algernon, i mentioned the struggle we have to create art– to feel intertwined in the tissue of society at large 

and i guess to some extent it “makes sense” to feel this way since we’re a neurodivergent, therian creature which, although isn’t necessarily bad per-se, it does imply that we have and still do face adversity when trying to partake in this concept of society – we have learnt mechanisms to cope and found spaces where we can safely and (generally) comfortably exist, which makes me want to refuse the idea that are somehow failing to be “social” 

having said that, it now begs the question: 

  what does it mean for us to be “social”?
  what do we desire to achieve within “society?"

 and to some extent it’s been normal to isolate the social self from the rest of “self”– we exist in different scopes and can observe the way we interact with the rest of the world in differing levels of abstraction, which allows us to build different foundations based upon the values and requirements for every differing environment

so, to ponder upon the previous questions and to wonder in general, i guess that i’d like to..  feel

which circles back to the thought that being somewhat distant from literature and other popular forms of it (say novels, fanfics, manga, comics, etc) has rooted a the belief that i am somehow less “social”.

and that thought itself can be rebutted by acknowledging that in other forms of literature (say technical, scientific, field-specific, etc) there also exists a form of social self by sharing knowledge and partaking in discourse with other people.

therefore, i am kinda uncertain on where to lead this thought; i could pull from some feels and introspect on how i feel about certain forms of art and how i could theoretically improve the ways i “connect” myself with this abstract “tissue” of society, but for the time being i think it’s best to leave it here– perhaps time and experience will give me some insight and i’ll revisit it at a later time.

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