i wish just to be broken down. torn apart.

completely stripped of life and existence. tossed and killed with a guilt-free pleasure akin to mundane existence.

my pain asks to be taken and nonconsentually hurt. to be punched and raped with numb care.

the exhaustion and remorse in my soul needs to be held at knifepoint and, whilst begging for kindness, to get torn and split apart without any joy in the action.

i urge to take every little piece of my existence and melt it. to scoop up all parts of my being, every name, every word. and methodically remove it from existence.

all the loneliness in my heart will never find a home. a warm place to relax in, a comfortable bed to sleep upon. because relentless suffering and a spiteful existence is all that are left to welcome my heart.

i wish i could just stop existing.

i want to be gone and done.

i want out