my body’s pains keep growing linearly. my shoulders hurt and shrink under the pressure of not sleping well, after being tense for days on end without resolution.

my muscles ache in agony, trying to brace for impact– one that will never arrive to the body physically, but rather through the mind.

and it’s breaking me.

the anxiety spirals, it hurts and it swirls in my head. it freezes my thoughts and it makes me stumble in my head– please.   

just.  please.  end this pain. 

i just want. some  relief and resolution.

it hurts and i want some rest.     

i feel so frail and scared of walking this road. i don’t want to feel cold and scared.  i want… embrace and warm welcome, to stop being scared.

this all feels so uncertain and scary. 

i want to be held in someone’s arms, curled and safe. 
i want to feel cared for; wanted and important for someone.

but alas, i must traverse this road on my own, hoping that everything and everyone around me will somehow break my fall, should i crash or miss my steps.

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